Beyond Achievement: What Does Happiness Really Mean?

We spend much of our lives pursuing the next milestone. Yet somewhere along that journey, an uncomfortable question can emerge: If we have achieved so much, why doesn't happiness always follow?

This was the starting point for Femfluence's recent online conversation, The Science of Happiness: Beyond Achievement, featuring Billy Lee, CEO of Greater China, of the Happiness Studies Academy.

Bringing together 12 participants from Hong Kong, China, UAE, Malaysia and Vietnam, the session explored a subject that is both deeply personal and surprisingly universal.

01. Success and Happiness Are Not the Same Equation

Billy began by sharing his own transition from corporate executive to what he describes as a happiness journeyer.

His journey raised an interesting question: Why do we so often assume that success will eventually deliver happiness?

Drawing on research in happiness studies, Billy challenged some familiar assumptions. Academic achievement, income and material progress, while important in many ways, are not necessarily strong predictors of how happy we feel.

He pointed to research suggesting that even as societies become materially wealthier, reported happiness does not always rise proportionately. This does not mean ambition or financial success is unimportant. Rather, achievement and happiness are different dimensions of life, and one cannot automatically substitute for the other.

Happiness, Billy suggested, is also found in the experience of living — learning, connecting, growing and finding meaning along the way. Perhaps the question is not whether we should pursue success, but whether we have allowed success to become our only definition of a fulfilling life.

02. Happiness Is Not a Destination. It Is a Practice.

When participants were invited to define happiness in their own words, the responses were revealing.

Being yourself.

Feeling peaceful and grateful.

Feeling alive.

No two definitions needed to be identical.

Billy explained that his own understanding of happiness has evolved over the years. Today, it includes the freedom to be present and authentic in a conversation, without feeling the need to prepare, perform or be perfect.

He introduced the SPIRE framework, associated with happiness scholar Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar, which approaches well-being through five interconnected dimensions:

• Spiritual: Finding meaning and purpose in what we do.

• Physical: Caring for our bodies and physical well-being.

• Intellectual: Remaining curious, learning and growing.

• Relational: Nurturing meaningful human connections.

• Emotional: Recognising and accepting the full range of our emotions.

The framework offers a more holistic understanding of happiness than simply feeling positive.

But how do we put all five dimensions into practice when life is already demanding? April raised precisely this concern during the discussion. For women balancing businesses, families, relationships and personal responsibilities, another framework can easily become another list of things to accomplish.

Billy's response was refreshingly practical: Start with one micro-habit.

Rather than attempting to transform every dimension of life at once, choose one small behaviour that can be sustained. A moment of reflection. A meaningful conversation. A little more movement. Time to learn something simply for the pleasure of learning. Small actions, repeated consistently, can gradually change how we experience everyday life.

Happiness need not become another performance target.

03. The Freedom to Be Authentic, and to Feel Everything

One of the more thought-provoking parts of the conversation centred on authenticity.

Billy observed that women often reflect deeply on happiness, perhaps because the many roles they navigate require them to reconcile different definitions of success and fulfilment. But what happens when the person we present to the world begins to differ from the person we actually are?

Billy spoke about the importance of removing the masks we wear in relationships and allowing ourselves to be authentic. He also challenged the assumption that happiness means feeling good all the time.

Sadness, disappointment, anger and uncertainty are not necessarily failures of happiness. They are part of being human.

The goal is not to eliminate uncomfortable emotions, but to develop a healthier relationship with them. This led to another distinction: happiness and contentment are related, but they are not identical. We can be content with what we have while continuing to grow. We can experience difficult emotions while still finding meaning in our lives.

Perhaps genuine well-being begins when we stop demanding that every moment feel positive.

04. Can We Be Happy Without Having Everything Figured Out?

Relationships emerged as another central theme.

Billy highlighted the importance of relationship satisfaction to overall happiness, while noting that two people do not need identical life purposes or definitions of happiness to build a fulfilling relationship.

What matters is the quality of connection, authenticity and mutual understanding. The discussion also touched on a more difficult question raised by April: Is the pursuit of happiness itself a privilege?

For people facing poverty, insecurity or natural disasters, particularly in parts of Southeast Asia, the freedom to contemplate personal fulfilment may seem distant from the realities of survival.

Billy acknowledged that happiness takes different forms under different circumstances, drawing on Viktor Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning to illustrate how people may find meaning even amid profound suffering.

The conversation did not suggest that mindset can erase hardship or inequality. Rather, it invited us to distinguish between the external conditions that shape our lives and the meaning we seek within them.

After six years of studying happiness, Billy shared that one of his greatest personal shifts has been letting go of the need for life to follow a predetermined shape. Instead of constantly pursuing a fixed destination, he has become more willing to embrace the journey and the person he is becoming through it.

It is a perspective that challenges the achievement-oriented mindset many of us have spent decades developing.

A Reflection from Femfluence

What is the value of expanding our influence if we have never stopped to consider the life we want it to enable?

Sometimes it is about choosing more consciously, building more meaningful relationships, allowing ourselves to evolve, and redefining success on our own terms. The conversation with Billy left us with a simple invitation:

Rather than asking what will finally make you happy, ask what small choice you can make today to live a little more meaningfully.

Because happiness, like influence, is not something we arrive at once and for all.

It is something we continue to cultivate.

Femfluence extends its appreciation to Billy Lee, CEO of the Happiness Studies Academy, for sharing his insights and personal journey, and to the women who joined us across different cities and time zones for an open and thoughtful exchange.